Miracle Whip dipping sauces -Twisted minds think alike

processed foods, products, sauce | April 8, 2013 | By

Kraft Miracle Whip dipping sauces - Kickin' Onion Blossom, Smokin' Bacon Ranch (MSG), and Sassy Sweet Tomato

For starters, I’m not affiliated in any way shape or form, nor was I asked to write about this. I just happened to get an email for a coupon for these and they caught my attention.

I don’t buy Miracle Whip. I have no use for it. It’s too sweet to be a mayo substitute and I can’t think of any other reason to ever use it.

But they could sway me into at least trying their new sauces, I think. After all, I do kind of have a thing for trying new dips, right? The real kicker was the image used in the newsletter, though:

 Kraft Miracle Whip dipping sauces - Kickin' Onion Blossom, Smokin' Bacon Ranch naturally flavored, and Sassy Sweet Tomato - killer tomato, farm pig with a pitchfork, and a kickin' karate onion with a black belt

I suppose it was literally a ‘kicker’ who grabbed my attention, with a ninja karate kickin’ onion, farmer cow-pig thing (erm, what is that?) and a killer tomato. The tag line was “new dipping sauces from the twisted mines of Miracle Whip.” Okay, yeah, I’ll bite. Those are cute!! The power of advertising actually sucked me in on this one.

Has anyone tried them yet? I think there’s still a $1.50 coupon floating around out there if you’re interested. I haven’t tried them and I’m a little hesitant, despite the twisted mascots, simply because I’m betting they’re loaded with chemicals, but it’s still worth a shot.

Avocado dressing…Wait, no…

avocado, salad, sauce | January 17, 2013 | By

At first glance, it looks like avocado dressing, right?
After all, we’re visual people and labels on bottles and boxes tend to indicate what’s inside. Those pictures might be misleading in the sense of looking way more delicious on the outside. Usually it at least sort of represents what’s expected to be in there, though.
Not with this dressing. That large picture of an avocado is merely a suggestion of what to put the dressing on. Don’t put it on a salad like everybody else. No, no, just put it on an avocado!

At least they did clarify in the fine print, though, that it is a honey mustard dressing and doesn’t contain any avocados at all. I was lucky to pay attention in the store, but I wonder if their choice of marketing is why this was on closeout. How many people are going to be intrigued by an avocado salad dressing? And those who were…like me….are going to be disappointed after seeing what it really is.

The one where I lose track of time

Gif of bacon fryingGif of slicing mozzarella cheese, tomatoes, and avocadosGif of stirring mayonnaise dressingGif of putting sandwich together with tomatoes, avocadoes, and breadPutting sandwich together with bacon and cheeseGif of putting sandwich halves togetherHow to butter and make a paniniHow to grill a bacon, cheese, tomato paniniA grilled panini sandwich being sliced in half
I’m really not sure how long I have been sitting here, staring at my own blog post. And I know even less about how long I stared at the pictures before saving and uploading them. And months ago when I found these originally? Even if I knew how long I watched them, mesmerized and drooling, I would never admit it.
I mean, really…. how good does that look? Fresh mozzarella, delicious avocado and tomato slices, a creamy sauce that appears to be maybe mayonnaise and spices, and crispy bacon all layered onto freshly buttered bread before being pressed lightly and grilled to perfection in a panini press, and then sliced into perfect sandwich slices.
Yeah, I would eat the heck out of that. And I’d have another on the grill while I did because there’s no way I would stop at one. Mmmm.