A luxury 12 course meal….in a can?

processed foods | September 5, 2013 | By

12 side dishes and main dishes in a jellied can

The designer of this delicious jellied “meal in a can” is suggesting it gives the average person the chance to “dine like royalty without the washing up.”

I’m pretty sure no one would eat this. Ever. Or at least I would hope not, haha.

As if the above image and idea overall isn’t disgusting enough, brace yourself for this close-up:

12 layers of various expensive foods like kobe beef and ribeye mashed up and put in a can as an all in one meal

Mmmmm, right?

And in case your foodie eyes aren’t refined enough to see exactly what each of these baby food textured layers are, here’s the cheat sheet for you:

Selection of local cheeses with sourdough bread

Pickled kobe beef with charred strawberry

Ricotta ravioli with a soft egg yolk

Shitake mushroom topped with filled peppers

Halibut poached in truffle butter in a coconut crepe

Risotto foraged ramps, prosciutto and fresh parmesan

French onion soup with fresh thyme and gruyere cheese

Roast pork belly and celeriac root puree

Palate cleanser, pear ginger juice

Rib eye steak with grilled mustard greens

Crack pie with milk ice cream on a vanilla tuile

French canele with a malt barley and hazelnut latte

Very classy!

Erm, or not….

Wyngz – The cool way to say “not wings” (Fun facts about food Friday)

DiGiorno Pizza and Boneless Wyngz* - Wyngz means that there's no real wing meat in it and it's just different parts of the chicken in nugget shapes

Facts about Food Friday

I really hate when people spell things with a ‘z’ instead of ‘s’ anyway, but apparently this is a real thing now – A government issued mandate that requires food manufacturers to label certain types of food this way.

So basically, “wyngz” are any chicken products that are sort of shaped like chicken wings, but aren’t actually wings at all. In fact, this is the ONLY misspelling that’s allowed and it has to be exactly this way with both the ‘y’ and the ‘z’ in order to be legal.

Not only that, but there is an entire list of very specific details that must be followed:

  • The chicken used in said “chicken product” has to be white meat
  • “Wyngz” has to be in the same color font and not hidden inconspicuously
  • Here’s where we start getting specific – The smallest letter in the name can be no smaller than one-third the size of the largest letter used in ‘wyngz’. Get out your rulers, folks!
  • It also has to state that it’s not wing meat (or isn’t ‘just’ wing meat), such as “contains breast meat and wing meat,” and has to be linked by an asterisk next to “wyngz,” pointing people to a more specific description of what they may or may not want to eat now.

Box of fake chicken wings with wyngz spelling to show that they're not real.

Digiorno is doing it right on their boxes there.

And actually, they’re going one step farther by trying to make this sound like a great thing. If you go to their website, they explain that the reason for the “fancy spelling” is “Because they’re not wings. They’re even better!”

/facepalm

Really, I think this one sums up the new “spelling” quite nicely:

 

 A picture of a real chicken with the right spelling of "chicken" and "wings." A picture of a cartoon/fake chicken dancing with ridiculous spellings "Chikynz" and "Wyngz*"

 

(Gah! My spell check was really angry at me for this post of “wyngz,” ha!)

The true nutritional value of most processed foods (Wordless Wednesday)

A box that shows candy cereal with a label that says "Bearly nutritional." The Nutrition facts on the back have humorous stats like 537% happiness, 480% sugar buzza, 362% wackiness, etc.