Junk food patches – Stop those cravings with one easy sticker…!

funny, pizza | October 6, 2014 | By

 Junk Food Patches to prevent cravings parody
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Have you ever been so hungry for a french fry that you just wanted to sniff it?

Have you ever been so desperate to quench your cravings that you’d try a chocolate cake scratch and sniff sticker just to get a whiff of the imaginary dessert?

Introducing Danone Corpus Light Junk Food Patches! Just pick a patch, slap it on your arm, and rinse away your diet-wrecking cravings with a Corpus Light.

As the smell wafts up to your nose, reminding you every single second that you don’t actually have pizza at your desk, try to resist the urge to gnaw your arm off.

I hear it has more calories than the the cake you’re trying to avoid does…

Pizza roll pizza heart

A heart shaped pizza made out of Totino's pizza rolls and spinach

From the Decorated Cookie.

So there’s one that I had never considered being creative with. I love me some Totino’s pizza rolls….despite how horribly unhealthy they are. Or maybe it’s BECAUSE they are so unhealthy that I love them from time to time.

I see them as a convenience food, though, that gets tossed in the oven (or even the microwave when I’m desperate…shh). I wouldn’t have considered turning them into something more fun, but she did! And it was as simple as tossing some pizza sauce, some cheese, and a few heart shaped spinach leaves a top a pile of pizza rolls arranged into a pointy heart.

I would probably replace the green stuff with some carefully cut pepperonis instead. After all, if I’m going to indulge in cheap, unhealthy food, why spoil it with green stuff? My mother taught me better than that!

(Also…. happy birthday!)

Some of us do this dance every single time…. (Wordless Wednesday)

pizza, Wordless Wednesday | August 28, 2013 | By

Gif of SIMS character doing a dance as the pizza comes out of the oven