I like to think of it more as “the art of not falling…or getting burned” (Wordless Wednesday)

Short girl problems - Cooking turns into a workout because I have to climb on the counters.

Another ketchup explosion

accidents, ketchup, mistakes | January 25, 2013 | By

Picture of white cabinet drawers covered in catsup splatters from a bottle exploding. The pressure builds up and then how to get the red ketchup stain out?

I don’t get it.

I’m no stranger to messes and kitchen accidents. I’m not even a stranger to ketchup explosions.

What I don’t get is why they keep happening! It’s not like I’m being careless in the kitchen. I’m not a klutz who is constantly knocking things over. And I certainly don’t go intentionally making messes because I hate cleaning them up.

No, they’re just complete randomness. It’s a box that breaks. A bottle that builds up pressure and I’m the one who opens it first. Someone putting an opened container back in a cabinet upside down.

And who gets to clean it up? Me.

Who also gets to post the messes online to counter all the perfectly cleaned, properly posed, professionally captured food pictures that all the other bloggers put up? Me!

Hey, it’s something, right? :P

The ugliest bread I have ever made

Blue bread pudding with blue icing

Unfortunately, the picture above is the PRETTY version of it, after I tampered and tweaked it into something a person could actually tolerate looking at…and maybe consider eating it.

Let’s go back to the beginning to see how this “masterpiece” started, though. I believe this is from the time I tried recreating the adorable panda bread.

Adorable bread that looks like a panda when sliced

It totally looks like that, right? :P

Anyway, I started with all the appropriate proportions of colored bread dough:

Colored pieces of bread dough
I went with a lovely blue because I didn’t want it to be exactly like the panda above and I thought the blue would make a nice sky instead of grass behind it.

Fluffy bread

Unfortunately, the bread dough recipe I used decided that not only was it going to rise….but it was going to rise and rise and rise some more, so that it didn’t come out like a flat loaf at all.

Loaf of bread

It came out as a monster! And oversize, lumpy (albeit, fluffy and tasty) monster of a loaf!
There was no way it looked like a panda inside, of course, and didn’t even look like a pretty swirl. Even I didn’t want to eat it. So instead, I thought it would look cool as a bread pudding. Then it would be more swirled and cool, right?

Blue bread pudding

Wrong! Ew!
Okay, as a last resort, I figured I could slather it in icing. How about a lovely blue to bring out the blue flecks in the bread pudding?

Ugly green colored icing

What the heck happened?? That is the nastiest color ever and no where near blue! It’s just gross green stuff. Ew again!
Swirled blue icing - Earth in swirly motion
Thankfully, when I stirred it, you could tell that it was really blue underneath. I’m not sure what’s going on with that dark green.

Blue bread pudding

When sliced, the bread pudding *did* look kinda cool. It’s not a panda, but the girls thought it was neat…even if maybe a little bit weird.

Blue bread pudding with powdered sugar icing

And hey, with appropriately blue-colored icing, it was actually pretty edible, too!